For true stories that are so mind-blowingly ridiculous, that you could have sworn it was an Onion story. Click here to view a list of sites deemed unreliable by our moderator team. Personal attacks, racism, bigotry, homophobia, grandstanding, etc. will not be tolerated and you will be banned. Witch hunting or brigading is not allowed. Do not post any public or private contact info.

My daughter had been hounding me for days to mail Santa Claus her Christmas list, but I kept putting it off. Then this week, she had a change of heart and told me it's OK if we wait until the last minute, because "most of the toys are made by machines, and the elves just have to turn them on." Even a five year old, it seems, understands how modern manufacturing has changed, and her insight got me thinking about the future of elf jobs. With advances in automation and machine-learning, elf technology is getting really good. Engineers are focusing their efforts on designing "the machine that builds the machine," promising to spit out toys as fast as bubbles from a bubble machine.